Instead of going through my daily routine I thought I’d give you a highlights tour of what’s been happening. Believe me a whole lot has been going on!

Boracay Island

One of the things that the Philippines has is islands, lots of them; over 7000 islands of all sizes spread like gemstones through crystal seas. Going to Boracay is an amazing experience due to its ability to make you feel like you’re 15 and on summer holiday. Well it did for me! Flying into Cataclan from Cebu, the first thing you notice as the prop-plane swoops in low over the ocean is the colour of the water; to explain its crystal waters doesn’t even come close to doing it justice. The sun sprinkles the waves in clear blues and greens, frothy white dances towards the sandy even whiter shores, only broken by the jungle green swathe through the middle of the island.

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Then a short boat-ride across to the simple-but-sensational Boracay, there for you to explore as you would have as a child or just laze around as an adult. I did a bit of both. The narrow, dusty streets are filled with motor-trikes taxis, pot-pots (3 wheel bicycle taxis), bikes, people and the odd car. After a five minute ride past the rambling shambles of a town with glimpses of the beach, we stopped and walked a few hundred meters to one of the prettiest postcard images of my trip. The white sand beach drifted into the distance on both sides, lazy, low waves broke onto the pristine, people filled beach, populated with beachgoers and coconut palms every few meters; in the distance a storm was brewing over the islands dotting the horizon, but magically the sun stayed bright, beaming over the island, while the grey clouds dappled the meeting of the skies and the seas with rain. Simple stores, restaurants and bars are jammed together the entire length of the beach, but set respectfully back from the beach, a walkway marks the line between the sunbakers and the partygoers.

 

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The hotel room was simple, modern enough and had all the amenities (bed, AC, internet, cold water shower) you needed for a price of 1500 peso ($35 AUD), we stayed there a few nights and then moved to an even cheaper hotel (1000 peso $24 AUD) one room back from the beach, with a nice balcony overlooking the holidaying tourists walking beneath. Food is plentiful and ranges from ridiculously cheap (70 peso $105 AUD) what we would consider normal, but seems ridiculously expensive. Seafood is everywhere and I even saw a 30cm prawn! The seafood market full of massive live food; lobsters, crabs, all manner of fish and prawns. 2 large mud crabs cost around $10 AUD.

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Hawkers along the beach try and sell you everything from fake sunglasses to tours. Water-sports? You want water-sports? You want sunglasses? You want caps? Belts? Wallets? Your life back? One guy carrying an array of bits and pieces asked me if I wanted sunglasses, and I just pointed to the ones I was wearing. He shrugged and said I need a spare, cheeky bastard, and I laughed with him, at less than $1.50 a pair, how can you go wrong? They do swarm you a bit as you walk down the street, but a simple shake of the head is usually suffice for these happy, good humoured people. Sailing, island hopping, snorkelling, scuba, paddle boards and all other manner of water filled action can be had here.

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We hired a boat for the day and went island hopping; the first island was dressed for tourists and looked like it came from the set for King Kong, with shacks built from driftwood, large stones and coral, and a couple of caves where the waves boom into them as if on cue. The other island was where we had lunch. Earlier we had purchased some seafood at the markets and dropped it off on this island, here they cooked and seasoned it and served it to us for lunch, and all of this for a few dollars. We also went snorkelling as part of the tour; the typhoons had seriously damaged the coral but the darting fish and surviving corals are a disco of movement and colour.

We ate at a few restaurants along the beach; some awesome, some just good. But the food here has been amazing so far. 250 peso ($6.50 AUD) gets you all you can eat with prawns, crabs, lobster, and traditional local food. The weirdest would have to be breakfast with all-you-can-eat eggs, the record is 26.There are drinks specials of course as well and for the same price of 250 peso you will get a bucket of 6 San Miguel Light beers, or even for another 100 peso you can have all you can drink with spirits and beers. Nightclubs go til 'til the early hours every night, and you can party as little or as much as you like. I find myself having difficulties getting drunk here though for some reason, the drinks claim their proof on the bottle but I’m just not sure it’s as strong as it says. One bars gimmick was to serve drinks in jam jars, while another was basically a large beach hut with sand on the dance floor, and the beach right up to the back door. Combined with the obligatory transvestite fire dancers it’s a complete night out...

You meet a lot of tourists here and we bumped into heaps of Aussies on the island. One American bloke had travelled thousands of miles around the world to come to Boracay and complained that he couldn’t get a menu for a hamburger restaurant. I had to laugh as he harrumphed “...these people obviously don’t want our business; they can’t even give me a menu...” seriously? There was a menu on the wall, but he wanted one for his table. Get off your ass, oh...and your high-horse. The owners just went onto the next customer.

With picture perfect beaches, sunsets that set the sky on fire, amazing waters with food and accommodation so cheap who wouldn’t want to go to Boracay?

Public Transport

Coming to the Philippines is a little like time travel; time is truly not important here as days blend into weeks. But with this in mind it is quite easy to get around the islands. Flights are cheap, ferries are cheaper, taxis are almost free (you only pay when you move) and then there are the trikes and pot-pots. Just be aware that nothing happens at speed here; there’s no need to rush, so why go fast?

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Every road is jam-packed with vehicles of all description, colour, state of disrepair and status. Rainbow coloured, apparently homemade, jeepneys are everywhere, with their flashy, detailed, artistic murals, multi-flashing lights and dozens of people, they are the preferred transport for most people and they are everywhere. Small Suzuki mini vans come in all shapes and sizes too, as well as larger buses and trucks for people transport. It doesn’t cost much to get where you’re going, maybe $2, and you can get anywhere on the islands, but they are packed in, and on the roof, with baggage and sometimes animals.  Then there are the buses; a massive hodge-podge and patchwork of colour, mural, random panels, rust, metal sheeting, and people. A new bus is a sight to behold, but the wobbly, bouncy, clunky ride in one of these McGyvered road ships is worth the $4 or so. The roads are nowhere near as hectic as Rome or Tehran though as all drivers and riders give way at every intersection and lookout for each other, some spots, on the road, do look like a petulant monster had not gotten his way, but mostly they are pretty good if not narrow.  It seems like a chaotic mess but is really a smooth synchronised flow of vehicles in and around the cities.

Safety is not a main concern and no one wears their seatbelts, nor does everyone wear a helmet. Every safety orientated bone in my body screams out as we drive around in cars that the rego inspectors would laugh at, but it s the way things are done around here, and logically, we just aren’t going that fast, hardly ever over 30 on the bike. I know, I know, low speed accidents can be just as bad but the laid back attitude here is contagious, and makes Australians look like they have had too much coffee.

The Motor trikes and Pot-pots (tricycles), (skeletal, home-made and a whole lot of fun) are also an excellent way to get around; for about $1 you can get pedalled or ridden around town from place to place, and there are literally hundreds of these skinny, fit, tiny men heaving people around the cities. The motor-trikes are awesome with covered, seated areas, storage areas, and the same flashy murals all over them, generally also with at least 8 people in and around, somehow attached to them. Emma has a small 125 bike/ scooter which is a hoot to drive and I have seen a record 6 adults on one of these; did I mention their lack of safety? These people are awesome.

Festivals

I have been lucky enough to be here for 3 events so far in my journey; the Festival of the Sail, Christmas and New Years. The interesting thing is that for most festivals like the one for sailing, you are able to wander through the towns, house to house, and just eat. No invites, it’s the way of the festival. I have been to several houses now, and simply just eaten whatever they had to offer. It reminds me of being a kid, when you would just wander over to people’s homes unannounced and have lunch or just chat. It doesn’t happen so much anymore now. Just to let you know, the Festival of the Sail is kind of an ironic title as there are no sail boats in Palompon. Thousands of kids, dressed up with colours, lights and music all whirling and leaping through the streets of Palompon, and watching them is everyone from everywhere, all laughing and enjoying the spectacle. It lasted all day in the sun, with a dance spectacular at the end. What a great day!

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Christmas was a lot of fun; the whole family came to visit for the day and we laughed, drank and had a great day. The emphasis isn’t on gifts, but on family and coming together and catching up. Emma’s’ family always puts together little care packages of tinned food, cleaning products and candies for the kids, and hands them out to the neighbours in the area as presents. They have a little more than those around them and they love to give some of it to those who need it. Her sister is married to a man name Warrior and he is very well known in the area as he employees many of the locals. He throws a Christmas party every year for the workers and it’s such a beautiful event. They put together an amazing feast for the workers, with more food than they see in a month, judging by the way the plates are piled high. Then they have the talent show; all of the workers are encouraged to sing or dance for a prize, and 100000 peso ($2200 AUD and a whole lot of money) of prize money goes a long way. Carollers here are just beggers’ with a voice, they follow me through the crowded streets, come to me on the beach, even in the shopping centres kids will just come up and start singing random snippets of Christmas carols, and continually following me around.

New Years Eve wasn’t terribly exciting; except for the fact you can buy fireworks here. There’s no real event up until the countdown, but the next day was a huge party, and also came with a blessing for the house. The usual people and a million kids all turned up and ate, drank and were mostly merry.  Emma’s house is mostly finished by now and she had invited everyone over for the blessing of the house as well as the New Year’s Festivities. The Priest turned up on Filipino time (an hour or so late), and did his thing, everybody lit candles, he congratulated Emma, and left. Kind of like speed dating, but with a house, and a blessing. “I hate to Priest and run...”

The People

I definitely get the feeling of being the odd one out here; people openly gawk at you in the street, giggle and talk about you behind their hands. Until you smile at them; my big, goofy, Aussie smile. Then they are curious and friendly as well as shy and happy to show off whatever they have. I am the odd one out; I am head and shoulders taller than most people here, I am white when everyone has lovely coffee coloured skin, and my blue eyes are guapo (handsome). White skin is a show of affluence here, and thus someone like me is obviously loaded. Yeah right. But it makes you think that to the locals the ability to travel to another country is a sign of wealth, no matter how hard you worked to do it. They even have soaps and scrubs which when used have special “whitening’ crystals or something to make you look less of a commoner with your brown skin. Funny how we “whitey’s” spend so much time and money trying to get a tan. I love spending time with Emma’s family and the guys working on the house; as a sign of respect to show I am in no way above them, I love to have a drink of the cheap local rum ($2 a bottle, and it tastes like it too!), they really get a kick out of me eating and drinking with them.

I have to admit getting a little lonely and frustrated sometimes due to language and communication problems. Lonely you say, but how? Imagine this (and you have all been there); you are introduced to a new group, they could be your new girlfriends parents, a mates’ best friend for 25 years, the troupe at the Russian ballet, a big group or little group, it doesn’t matter: they all have their own language brought on by friendship, intimacy or just dynamics. That’s what I am talking about; they will laugh at jokes you don’t get, make quips about people in the group or yourself you don’t understand, mention stories you don’t know, talk about people you haven’t met... and all this time they may or may not try and tell you what’s happening, most of the time it’s just too difficult to explain and it’s simply not your language. Yet. It’s just difficult being with new people and not getting what’s going on, you do your best, but it’s tiring, especially when no one can help you. I love to chat to people and get to know them, but learning a language in a couple of months is a bit beyond me and I don’t always have a translator. I think of those people who come to Australia, a whole new country, to live and make a life and don’t have any English skills, and understand how hard it really is. Some of the people here have tried really hard to engage with me and I love them for it, it’s made my stay so much easier, but meeting people for the first time for a couple of hours can be hard... I have been here nearly 2 months, with little communication. I think it’s just jungle fever!

Other foreigners here seem to be part of a secret society; when they see you with a local they nod knowingly, they really don’t know. There are a lot of arranged and internet marriages here, and even just guys here for a young, hot girl to call their girlfriend, the girl gets money, status, treated badly, and sometimes an STI. I fit right in even though my situation is different; we are middle aged, balding, white and overweight, our uniform is a tourist shirt (WELCOME TO THE PHILIPPINES!) and long shorts with thongs (flip-flops). Oh, and we drink beer. I’m waiting for my membership card and, of course, the secret handshake. Some guys have a real relationship, like me, and others just take advantage. I met a couple of nice blokes from Adelaide who had loving long marriages to Filipino ladies, the others still nod knowingly.

Above all of this is a wonderful sense of humour; I was chatting to her family through Emma one night when the names of the dogs came up, one of them is called Duncan. “Who calls a dog Duncan I asked?” Thinking it really weird. “Doughnuts...” came the reply and I just cracked up with them. The locals laugh at themselves, and each other, easily, and with no malice. It’s a simple life here and all they need is provided, with some hard work. A smile is free and easily given, and laughter is contagious, even though you don’t know why you’re laughing most of the time. The kids here are all absolutely gorgeous and the first to come and find out about you, asking questions in their sing song language and trustingly play games with you.

Filipinos love their Karaoke and find it hilarious that I say I would rather fall into an alcoholic coma then get up and sing in front of people. They get me, but they still sing and some are quite good. Not enough of them are good, but the cheap beer helps. Karaoke seems to be the national pastime and you’ll find it everywhere, and get ready for every 70’s to now love-song ever written (Celine, air supply, 10cc you’ll get it here.). Games of chance are also extraordinarily popular, cheaper and more fun than a TV, and at any time you can get a game of something. I can now play Tongit; a game similar to Euchre or 500, with many variations based on whether you are playing for money or not; Mah-jong; the Chinese classic is had to learn and harder to master; and a form of Kelly Pool called 61; where you are given 6 cards from a deck of cards which correspond to the numbers on the balls on the table. All can and are played for money and playing can last into the night. Especially if you have cheap beer...

Filipinos have some nice respectful customs; holding the hand of an elder woman to your forehead on entering her house; you excuse yourself and duck when walking between people who are talking; and lighting candles for those who have passed at the cemetery (children wait for you to leave and take back the candles and wax in order to melt them down for resale). Religion is very important, though I get the feeling that sometimes it’s not always understood. Cemetery plots are built on top of each, some 4 high, to save space and keep families together.

The customs and ways of any country is like looking up at the stars; it can all look so different unless you give it some time and patience then you may start to recognise some things that are the same and take note of what’s different.

Cities – Manilla, Tacloban, Cebu and Ormac

The cities here are a rambling, shambles of the old and new. Mostly old buildings in varying states of disrepair greet you as you drive into them. Amongst these barren streets spout brand new buildings; shopping centres, apartment blocks, random other buildings. They stand out because of their newness and you have to wonder how long before they look like the rest. In amongst all of these weathered, rough cities there is life everywhere; hectic, funny, loving and beautiful people are rushing about doing their utmost to make something of themselves. Every nook and cranny is filled with people selling their wares, from toothbrushes to fresh fruit you can get it on the streets in the myriad of little stalls and stores around. It’s an interesting duality to find so much life amongst what seems to be decaying streets.

Manilli is big, big like Sydney, really big...not sure how many people but it sure is different to all the others! Massive skyscrapers, even bigger malls, and it so nice to stay in a high-rise apartment! Have only been here a minute but so far its been great!

My personal favourite city, so far, has to be Ormac City; a winding maze of business, with wonderful views and people. The market area is a huge meandering area full of anything you need, the fresh food section is incredible, and you can get almost anything else at the market. If you get a chance you should go to the big BBQ open restaurant area on the wharf by the waterfront. The open market stalls have all manner of skewered meats, cooked fresh for you once you choose what you would like. You can feed 8 to 10 people for less than $20, including drinks and rice. Just north of Ormac city is a resort were you can pay $1.50 AUD to use their facilities, a massive swimming pool with waterslides, gazebo islands surrounded by a koy lake, open cabins on the ocean front for cooking a big lunch, they even have a couple of huge Ostriches (in a too small fenced area) for the kids to marvel at. The city has one big shopping centre which looks like one of ours, there is a difference though; armed guards at the doors checking baggage for guns etc. Now the armed guards here have a special security device that should be taken up by security all over the world; a 40cm wooden stick. Apparently this sophisticated technological device can, once inserted lazily into a large backpack, can detect the presence of drugs, armaments and explosives. A small poke is all that is need for the device to makes it’s sensor sweep and it’s 100% accurate.  Also in Ormac the bank has 4 security guards with massive, sawn-off shotguns standing out the front. Let me just say I haven’t seen even the smallest hint of trouble in the Philippines. Even Emma’s Mum has an old almost solidly rusted .38 police special copy in the house... somewhere. She keeps forgetting where she hides it.

After travelling through Europe you get used to the beggers, mostly kids, walking up to you saying “Coina, coina!” and looking up at you with big, sad eyes, and mostly trying to figure some way of ripping you off. At first, here in the Philippines, I really felt for the people begging on the streets, but then I saw how hard other people worked to get by and I realised that it’s mostly just laziness. It’s also big business, and beggers can make a fair bit of cash in a day doing nothing but bothering people. Most people will try and work in some way to get them the food they need for their families; even the blind become masseuse, in shopping centres and airports, in order to make their way through, and get paid well. If you try and give it your best, you can do well, if you don’t and are lazy, you don’t do anything. I would just like to say that these massages from the blind are just blind people porn... and they get paid ($4 AUD an hour). Love it.

The standard Visa for the Philippines is 21 days, but have no fear; if you can find the immigration office in Tacloban (it moved on Saturday and almost nobody knows where it is now), you can fill in a form, pay 3000 peso and have a vague interview with the officer. “What do you do for work? Where are you staying? Have fun in the Philippines!” All questions from a stern, bored, cookie cutter government official.

I much prefer the small towns like Palompon, 6km from Emma’s house. Everything is cheap, the people are friendly and most of them are related to Emma’s family. You have everything you need with bars and restaurants (though the food at home is awesome anyway), shops and markets, beautiful beaches and jungles. Living here would be very easy as the cost of a resort bungalow would set you back about 10000 peso a month including electricity ($222  AUD), a meal will cost you about 70 peso to 150 peso ($1.55 to $3.30 AUD),a 300ml bottle of coke is 12 peso ($0.26 and comes in a plastic bag with a straw, not the bottle, because there is a deposit on the bottle), a pot-pot or trike will cost 20 peso ($0.44 AUD) and beer is very, very cheap and very, very good! Emma’s family owns a nightclub near the water called Blitz, cheap with great music, it’s a lot of fun, even with the looks I get.

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Emma’s House

Food

I love the food here! I am the sort of guy who will try anything, not as a macho, Im a big-tough-guy thing, but more of a let’s see if I like it thing. Let me freak you out first!

Balut – is apparently a very macho thing to eat, everyone talks about it and most of the locals eat it in the dark so they can’t see it! It’s basically a one day old duck chick, cooked in the egg and served with a vinegar and chili sauce. Unfortunately it also looks like a one day old duck fetus cooked in a boiled egg, with a beak, feathers and crunchy bones. I have to admit I wasn’t too happy with the taste. I thought, by all accounts, it would be an amazing flavor. It just tasted like an old boiled egg.

Sisig – the Filipinos will buy a live pig (Baboy) and slow roast it on an open fire for any occasion, bless them. The Lechon (Cooked pig) is incredibly tasty, fall-off-the-bone, crispy skinned and amazing to eat, and they eat all of it. I have eaten the heart, very tasty beer snack; Dinugoan, blood jelly made from the intestines, stomach etc, and not too bad; Paley, a tasty mix of lungs and intestines; but my favorite would have to be Sisig, which is the crispy skin and meat from the head of the pig, chopped and cooked with the brains, in a sweet soy sauce. Trust me you have to try it.

Chicken intestines – swirls of intestines, marinated and BBQ’d on a stick. It seriously doesn’t sound too appealing but really is a very tasty snack, and costs maybe 20 cents.

Dog – yes, you read it, I ate a dog, well not the whole dog, but I had  big meal of it and it was good! The very tasty meat was served in a thick tomato, banana and carrot sauce and was maybe a little boney, hehe. Boney get it! I have a million of them; I woke up the next morning trying to lick myself, chased the cat and sniffed some bums, which was seen as a little weird, even for a foreigner. The kids were playing with a ball and damn it, they just wouldn’t throw it for me. Ok, Ok just one more; Emma chased me out with a broom and threw me some mint treats because she said I had… wait for it…doggy breath. Oh the poor doggy, please, you ever seen what your lamb looks like, or veal, before you eat it?

Live food – you can’t get any fresher than here in the Philippines; generally speaking you will walk your food home instead of carry it in bags. I have seen live chickens, pigs and fish (you don’t walk the fish) come home with us in the back of the ute, and then we have a meal. I have heard it said that a pig being slaughtered sounds a lot like a human being murdered. Well, no, I don’t think so, it sounds like a pig being slaughtered. He’s not happy about it, but he’s food. What are people going to eat when they find out vegetables have feelings.

Fishing day – I was asked by Emma’s brother if I would like to go fishing one day, and jumped at the chance, though it wasn’t quite what I was expecting. Apparently a custom for the locals is to gout out and fish with nets about every 3 months, at low tide, and this one day of fishing is just to feed them for the day. In Palompon there is a section of the town built on stilts over the mangroves, it’s a poorer part of town and has a maze of raised bamboo bridges and walkways between an entire town built over the water. The huts are simple wooden and coconut leaf matting for walls, with the occasional wooden walls, but there are stores, homes with multiple rooms, outdoor cooking areas and electricity throughout. The people here are amazed to see a foreigner walking through their midst, and are painfully proud of the little that they have, happily sharing meal or just giving a big smile and a wave.

We walked out on the low tide across the starfish filled, muddy sands about a mile towards some isolated mangrove trees, where the men headed off and started their fishing. Back in town a bag of charcoal had been bought and these were now being walled off by some handy dead coral and rocks to create a makeshift cooking area for the fish that would come. I marveled at the ingenuity of the workers as they used found dried wood and the used charcoal to create a fire and boil some water to make a soup and some rice.  The first load of fish had already come through and contained some amazing fish; small catfish with poisonous barbs, which would be cooked in vinegar and spices and literally melts in your mouth; a nice big leather jacket; various other small edible and other inedible fish; small crabs, even a large, fist sized, hermit crab was tossed in the fire and eaten; a couple of larger fish, both thrown onto the open coals to cook and were delicious; and what looked like a lion fish, an expensive aquarium piece, that surprised them when I told them how much it was worth back home, and was considered junk here. The second lot contained much the same with the exception of a couple of calamari, and that was the last one, they believe in sustainability and know that the waters were almost fished out. Hence this happens every three months, and we fed about 25 people.

The predator tide slowly devoured what was now our little island and the boys went back to get a boat for us. We travelled across to another mangrove island, and they left us there to play for a couple of hours before returning to put-put pour way back to the stilt village. By now the water had risen and the mangroves had turned it into a magical raised tree house village. We wandered back to Emma’s brothers’ house and had another snack of fish and pork before saying goodbye to them all. A bunch of kids on a balcony waved and giggled to the smiling white foreigner in their poor little village. Sun-burnt and full of great food, I thanked everyone for a great day.

The Philippines is a wonderful place filled with happy, smiling people. They have a way about them that I hope I can keep to myself; they don’t have much and live basically and day to day, but they are mostly abundantly happy, if not with a little status-envy. Like most of the poorer countries I have been to, they reuse and rebuild instead of replace: Cars are repaired until there is literally nothing left to repair; houses are built from whatever they can find around them; and most things that are necessary are used until they can’t be used anymore. It’s a great society of people, some of which have so very little but love and keep what they have, and others whose excess is thought-provoking. For example I bought a pair of shorts for 1600 pesos ($34 AUD); this will buy a 6 piece cane lounge setting, a quarter of a pig, a builder/ carpenter or 2 labourers for a week, 80 bottles of beer from the supermarket, 20 meals (meat, rice and a drink), 7 tasty roast chooks and 16 trips on the bus. I may not make a lot of money back home, but if I saved it and brought it here, I can live like a king. I’m not a big fan of being waited on hand and foot, it’s boring and lazy, but I’m definitely coming back, probably every year from now on, to learn more about this incredible place! We may even start a small business here; a good coffee shop, with simple meals, some Asutralian influenced food, and internet café.

More soon…

A Mongolian Adventure with James